Chapter 3:

At what point do we know
That risk has its reward?

At what point do we run for that edge?

My eyes can't lie,
They never could.

If you look, for those who take the time;

You'll see me wanting to run,
Run towards the edge,
Leap,
Arms spread.

Feel the wind,
The rush,
The faith,
The reward.

Oh, how I crave to run!

Towards that edge,
Let me run, leap and fall!

Look into my eyes,
They do not lie.

Look, trust and believe.

Chapter 2: See the edge

Promise sits, waiting.

I've been gone too long, too scared to go near the edge
far too long.

My heart is healing, ready.

I see the edge,
You're waiting there, for me?

When I find out the answer, I'll step closer.

Til then, I dare not go near the edge,
at the risk of falling, alone.

Though, my heart races,
I have this feeling-
I'll be running, leaping, falling
into you.

It scares me how much I want to go near that edge.

Chapter 1:

Well if we never meet again
I know
You're out there.

What's the chances that there's only one of you?
I think God should share
People like you!

We never understand,
Never understand the beginning of the end.

What changed?

When did our hearts diverge?

You ask.

Isn't love the strongest bond?

Stronger than the strains of time and distance?

Your heart aches, but it aches with strength.

No one ever understands the end,

Until it has ended, unfortunately.

Your search for reason within
The chaos and clash of heart and mind,
Is a futile battle.

Ride the chaos,
Feel the turns,
Go up, down, turn upright, down and upright again.

No journey is complete
Without each step taken.

Call me Lady Macbeth...

Why is it that my body defines what you see me as?

Where is it stated that I am confined to your expectations?

I'm tired that in my journey to  become a stronger person
spiritually, mentally and physically, that stereotypes are thrust upon me with such slander.

Why is it that my breasts limit my capabilities, or my interests, or my attitude?

Why is it my gender is all people ever see, and therefore judgments of me are made accordingly?

I'm' tired of feeling torn between the simple things in life,
between what makes me feel like me, and what makes me feel who I should be.

Why do I feel like I need to justify the things I do, or the person I am?

Every week I am confronted with low expectations, stereotypes, and accommodating actions-
All because I am a female, and I wish that were an exaggeration!

UNSEX ME HERE!

Not for the purpose of not seeing the wound my keen knife makes,

But in the hope that you will see me for who I am,
Not what I am...

Snippits of this and that!

I've been gone too long,
I know.
Would you like to know why?
Or just hear I'm sorry?
Let me know.

Well here's a few vague separate verses to give you an idea of what's been happening.....

What is it that really matters?
So much, work, effort, time and money,
For the things I don't care about,
I just want to be happy, and this is not it.


I've given my light to another nameless face,
It's ok this time.
Not really. Is it ever?


I worry about you, so much.
Please don't leave me, us, this world.
You're ready to leave this world,
Ready to let go,
Don't leave, Don't leave, no.
Cos I'm hangin' on to you,
And I'm not ready to leave.


I've been waiting, for a long time.
I've been searching, for you.
And I would give it all up to see you, once more.

I want love like the movies,
I want to hear the music,
I want to feel my heart race,
I want that rush.
If this isn't what it's like,
Let's play pretend.
I'll close my eyes,
See what I want to see,
Hear what I want to hear.
But,
Let's hope you're different,
I have a feeling you are.

Again, I'm sorry guys. I have just been too preoccupied, I will work my way back in though!

Pick a mood- Any mood!

It's been too long, I know, again... I'd say sorry, and I'd mean it, but would it make a difference?

I don't know how I feel these days,
Empty-yet my mind races.
Bored-yet a thousand things to do.
Lonely- yet talking to people everyday.
Whining- Yet I don't share it with anyone.
Lost- But I know exactly where I am.

I couldn't even make up my mind whether to write this as a poem, or simply say it straight out.

I still don't know what I want to say...
I want to curl up, hide under my blanket
and wait for the sun to come out.

I want someone to share things with-
I've worked on becoming strong,
I've preached about being independent- and practiced it too!

Now it's the waiting game............

Do I wait for Mr. Right?
Or settle for Mr. Safe?

I know what I deserve,
But will I ever get it?
Do these qualities really exist within a person?

I feel pathetic at times...

Perhaps where I live compensates for the people? lol